Susan Amato, Attorney at Law, St. Louis, Missouri

230 South Bemiston, Suite 510
Clayton, Missouri 63105
Phone: 314-862-0330
Email: Amato@anet-stl.com

Divorce and Family Law
Reaching a Resolution Through Mediation

The Divorce Mediation Method

Mediation is a voluntary process that enables parties in a dispute to resolve their issues in a structured way with the assistance of an impartial mediator. You and your spouse will meet with each other and the mediator to resolve the issues in your divorce.

The mediator conducts a series of meetings to help parties outline the issues which must be addressed, gather the financial information needed, and consider the interests and concerns of both parties. The mediator works with the parties in generating options for resolution that will meet the needs of each party as much as possible. Most mediation sessions last approximately 2 hours. The number of sessions needed depends on the number and complexity of the issues the parties need to resolve. Often an agreement is reached in 3-4 sessions, though more complex cases may require additional meetings.

The mediator does not make decisions for the parties, but structures their communications and helps them make the decisions necessary to resolve their dispute in a businesslike manner according to their own barometer of fairness. There is always an opportunity to consult with counsel or other experts between sessions and to bring that knowledge to the next session. The result is a written settlement prepared by the mediator, which will meet the legal requirements of the court. Each party will need their own lawyer to advise them as needed during the mediation process and to submit the final settlement documents to the court.

Mediation is not therapy and the purpose of mediation is not to reconcile the parties. Couples who are unsure about whether to divorce are advised to consult with a qualified marriage counselor.

When Divorce Mediation is Appropriate:

Divorce Mediation is most appropriate for those:

Who are committed to resolving their disputes in a fair and business-like manner, but who are unable to do so without some assistance and guidance.
Who have an ability to understand their family finances.
Who may require occasional consultation with their attorneys or other experts, but do not require their attorney by their side throughout the negotiations.
Who want to be in control of their divorce process and decisions and want to minimize the financial and emotional costs of divorce litigation.
Who want to maintain their ability to parent their children effectively with their spouse following their divorce.

Mediation is appropriate for resolution of divorce proceedings and post-divorce matters such as child care, support or spousal maintenance issues. It can also be helpful in resolution of other family disputes such as paternity issues and issues of child support and custody between unmarried parents.

Mediation is not Appropriate for Everyone.

Divorcing couples without children and with little property to divide are sometimes able to work out fair agreements on their own without the help of a mediator.
Those who are too intent on “winning” the divorce or hurting their spouse or opposing party despite the costs, may be unable to mediate effectively.
Couples in situations where spousal abuse or substance abuse are involved should carefully consider whether mediation is appropriate.
For those who feel they need their attorney by their side throughout the negotiations, the Collaborative Method may be preferred.

The Role of an Independent Attorney

Mediators are not acting as attorneys and will not give legal advice. Each party in the mediation is advised to seek independent legal advice during the mediation process although the attorneys generally do not attend mediation sessions. The independent attorneys are also responsible for submitting the final settlement documents to the court once an agreement is reached.

Advantages of Mediation

The parties maintain control over and make their own decisions regarding their financial and family matters.
Mediation minimizes the tension, anger and distrust that is often part of the traditional adversarial divorce and litigation process.
The meditation process allows the parties to carefully tailor their agreement to best meet each party’s particular needs and interest.
Mediation can be particularly valuable when there are children involved. It can help to establish a cooperative method of parenting after the divorce.
The cost of a mediated settlement can be significantly less than contested litigation or an agreement negotiated through two attorneys.